Nigerian model and singer Miss Sahhara on Transgender Day of
Remembrance shared her transition story and appealed to people to stop
stigmatizing people like him/her. Find her story below: I am standing in front of the mirror looking at my reflection. Tears of joy trickle down my rouged cheek before going on stage.I am in tears because I just can’t believe how realistic my dreams have
become. I am a woman! Living my life freely. Accepted and respected for
my achievements as a model and a performer. My fellow transgéndered sisters and brothers paved this way for me.
They fought for acceptance, understanding and respect. Some died while
fighting for what they believed in and others fell before their time due
to hate, rejection and society’s unfairness. Every single story gave me
strength to fight on and never to give up. I wish I could tell the younger me who tried to commit suicide twice that life gets better and dreams come true. I did not imagine life could be this amazing many years ago after
being released from a horrid Nigerian prison for being different. Then
all I could think was I could die in this prison and no one will know or
care. Being imprisoned felt justifiable, considering I was being punished
for being ‘gay’ – something they assumed due to my feminine features and
mannerisms. I wasn’t gay, I am a woman born differently due to natural defects.
What I felt did not match my outward appearance, Being assigned male at
birth doesn’t make me a man or a woman, nobody was born a man or a
women, you develop into your preferred gender as you grow up. For me
that gender was female. I was born male but my brain, gestures, features
and carriage functioned as female. Growing up and not knowing what was happening to my body made me
confused and lost. I couldn’t discuss it with my family because my
femininity was frowned on due to religion and I could not talk to my
friends because they would not understand what I was going through. I
found solace in music and dreams. I dreamt of being free to be myself, free of insults, free of judgment and free from harassment. That freedom came when I moved to the United Kingdom, finding girls
like me gave me hope of not being alone in my journey of self-discovery. found out what I went through growing up in Nigeria was quite common
with transgéndered people. Having freedom, acceptance and knowledge are
the key most important elements to a successful transition. Knowing I am not alone in my struggles helped me to reevaluate my
views on life and how I should go about my transition wisely. I
researched my transition and reconciled the conflicting emotions
involved in the process of accepting myself as the woman I am. It is a lonely world during transition, as your body changes so do
your emotions, which leads the mind into the darkest path in life. If
the chemicals are not professionally controlled, you can feel suicidal
due to rejection from loved ones and society. In life perfection doesn’t existent, but for me having the freedom to
be my true self feels almost perfect. As a black transgéndered woman I
am faced with many daily challenges such as transphobia, a complicated
love life, poor career prospects and racism. But when I remember my life
history, these challenges become water under the bridge. That is why I will always remember those who built this foundation
for freedom and knowledge. Also those who never got the chance to enjoy
the acceptance we have achieved so far. Transgénder Day of Remembrance today (20 November) is particularly
import to me because I have lost close friends to suicide and have seen
many more wishing to commit suicide as a final fix to their gender
dilemma and rejection by society. The media is silent on the subject of transphobia and the effects it
has on young transgéndered people of today, because they don’t see
transgéndered people as ‘normal’ members of our community. Remembering my fallen friends helps me to keep their memories alive.
It also encourages me to carry on the fight to be respected, understood
and accepted for whom I am. I dream of a world where we are given some sort of understanding and
tolerance to live peacefully as able, intelligent fellow human beings
who make positive contributions to society. Transgéndered people are human too. We are your brothers, your
sisters, your children, your friends and your lovers. Stop the hate!
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